Conquering Limiting Beliefs and Mental Health with Carlo Taormina

[00:00:00] Welcome to the Business Chop Podcast where I guest speak on meeting the challenges of entrepreneurship as well as offer tips and advice on business, marketing, technology and more. Whether you are a newbie or seasoned professional, this episode is for you. I am your host, Audrey Wiggins.

[00:00:23] Let's chop it up. Hello, Chop Squad. It's great to be with you again. It's getting warmer where I'm at over here in the land in Cleveland, Ohio. And I'm excited to get going today with our guest. So this episode, though, is going to be kind of serious.

[00:00:45] We'll be discussing mental health, suicidal tendencies and triumphs over depression. And if you are suffering from any of these or related issues, please dial or touch 988-4-AM-HELP. Yesterday, Sheriff's from his heart and expertise.

[00:01:01] He wants us to know we can achieve and be the person we were created to be. His name is Carlo Taormina, hailing from Richmond, Virginia is the life peak performance coach and keynote speaker a little bit about Carlo.

[00:01:20] He has achieved the near impossible as he puts it when he describes overcoming clinical depression and suicidal ideation. Carlos has always been one to help people. He helping others with his background in personal training, peak performance coaching, and as a keynote speaker.

[00:01:40] Now I'll share more about Carlo after this commercial. July 27th, this National Love is kind day. Show some love for your business. Nurture it, grow it and watch it flourish. Here now for elevating the you and entrepreneur summit.

[00:01:55] Learn more at bit.ly slash elevate the letter you July 2024. Bit.ly slash elevate the letter you July 2024. We're back with Carlo Taormina. Now Carlo rose from the versatility of his mental illness to share his story of overcoming lack of fulfillment, destroying limited beliefs or destroying limiting

[00:02:19] beliefs and unleashing the real view in order to perform at the highest level. From sharing his story on social media, coaching clients and speaking on the stages, Carlo has had people approach him saying his message has changed their life.

[00:02:38] As a powerful coaching keynote speaker, Carlo's drive impacts all as he shares his message with Fortune 500's universities and local communities. We're very excited and grateful that he's here sharing with us today to welcome to the business job. Thank you so much, Audrey for having me.

[00:02:55] I'm really excited to be here and I've been looking forward to this all morning. Oh great, me too. I'm excited. Let's get started with some fun facts and achievements from you. Yeah, yeah.

[00:03:06] So I mean there have been so many things I have done that I'm really proud of doing you know. So actually one thing that I've done, I don't know if I put this in the thing

[00:03:17] I sent you, but one fun fact about me is that I love acting. I love making movies. You know it's something I've been doing since I was a kid like making these home videos with my brother or with my friend across the street.

[00:03:30] And it was just like this natural thing I had in me just having fun just making videos. So I always had that creative side of me. So that's something that's like a little fun fact about me. Oh, I'm sorry.

[00:03:40] So the accomplishments I have as well is you know I've done keynotes for companies like Verizon. I've done some speaking for David Meltzer. I went to Los Angeles a few weeks ago and spoke with David Meltzer at Sophie Stadium in LA and that was a great achievement.

[00:03:56] I thought for me it was awesome to give a lot of value and impact and serve people there too. So that's just a little bit about me. Yeah, but that was awesome though. And for those who don't know David Meltzer, he's the co-founder of Sports One Marketing.

[00:04:11] Is that correct? Yeah. I want to make sure we have the right David Meltzer here. Normally he was, he served as CEO of the renowned Lee Steinberg Sports Entertainment Agency. So that was great to let you have that opportunity as well.

[00:04:25] It's always exciting to hear about those types of experiences because it just helps to I think we ground us and also to push our dreams a little further. Absolutely, absolutely. You know it's just one step over another. That's all it is.

[00:04:41] So let's dive right into how did you find your breakthrough to overcome depression and suicidal ideation? Yeah, so I mean how I overcame it. It was something that honestly throughout that year of 2021 I was, it wasn't looking for it because I didn't think it was there.

[00:04:58] I didn't believe that I would find this breakthrough. I tried and tried and I failed multiple times and I was just like, you know what? I kind of quit. So it kind of happened like I would say through divine intervention but it took me as the first

[00:05:16] step to get there. So I remember there was this one day specifically, this is in early November 2021 and my family is like, hey come out to lunch with us. Let's just go out to eat and do something different and to kind of give you guys

[00:05:31] context like I barely left my bedroom, barely left bed. I lay in bed every day for a year. So leaving my cocoon so to speak was not something that sounded intriguing to me.

[00:05:46] So my initial response to my family was like, no, I don't want to go just leave me alone. I don't want to do anything. Eventually they kind of wore me down and talked me into it. I was like, okay fine, we'll go out to lunch.

[00:05:56] Now this lunch was very awkward. This wasn't the turning point that saved my life. It was just my family surrounding me and I felt as if I was all alone even though I had my family members sitting next to me.

[00:06:08] I'm just like in the booth eating my little salad, not talking to anybody. And towards the end of the meal, my brother says to me, you should come home with me because I wrote originally with my mom because I lived with my parents at the time which

[00:06:22] for a young man in his 20s living with mom and dad with a lot of pride is probably not the best formula to kind of put him in. So I wrote home with my brother towards the end of the meal and we're driving home, not

[00:06:37] really talking about anything serious. And then we parked in the driveway and then we had this 10 minute conversation that felt like it lasted an eternity. And this conversation was he's put the car in park and said, hey what are we going to do?

[00:06:51] How are we going to help you? Because we tried everything. We mentioned therapy, you did it, it didn't work. You mentioned all these things like what is it we can do to help you because we don't know.

[00:07:04] So let us know so that we can help in the best way possible. And I said to my brother there's nothing you can do. If I could find something to do, I would have done it already. So you should just give up because I already did.

[00:07:19] And he didn't want to accept the answer. So he tells me, you know, I'm your brother and I would do anything for you. You're my brother, would you do anything for me? And I said of course. I didn't know.

[00:07:34] He kind of had something planned already in the back of his head because he was like okay, well perfect. I got a favor I needed from you. And I was like okay crap. Well I kind of fell into that one. What's this favor you need from me?

[00:07:47] What do you want me to do? If he looks at me and says to me I need you to do something different. I need you to go on a trip. Just get out of here, right? Try something new. And my initial response was you're crazy.

[00:08:02] Why are you saying this to me? You know how hard it was to go out to let you take factor with you guys and eat lunch. Now you want me to get on a plane and go somewhere like this is not happening.

[00:08:10] But he said to me kind of stirred something up in me. He says at this point Carlo what do you have to lose? And I sat with that for a bit. And honestly I was thinking about it for a while.

[00:08:27] And this is where that time stood still feeling kind of came in. And I just kept thinking about that. Honestly I don't have anything to lose at this point. You know I'm already at rock bottom so what's the worst case scenario?

[00:08:42] So the more I was pondering this question two things happened or I thought of that put me on the yellow brick road so to speak to finding this breakthrough. And the first thing I thought of was I just kept saying in my head to myself I know

[00:08:59] I don't want to go anywhere. I don't want to die. I don't want to leave. And I just kept saying that over and over and over again. And I shifted my focus from the life I was living you know the guy laying in bed every

[00:09:13] single day not feeling fulfilled, feeling like he has no purpose, feeling like a loser essentially and instead of thinking about that of what I used to do all the time. I shifted my focus to the person I wanted to become.

[00:09:27] I shifted my focus to being the successful entrepreneur, being a successful coach you know helping people and that's why I chose to focus on. And then the second thing that I would say really helped me was I imagined I struck a match

[00:09:44] from a match book and there's a tiny flame on the end of it. And this tiny flame I thought represented the real me, the funny Carlo the ambitious guy and the person who wants to help people if you're cold he would take a shirt off

[00:09:58] his back to give it to you. Even though I did not feel like that person this little flame was essentially a reminder that the real me was down there somewhere. He's still alive. It's still flickering.

[00:10:12] It's just not very big but it's still alive and that match sat in my gut and that's just where I imagined it envisioned it. And then the more I thought about this little flame it just grew it grew it grew

[00:10:26] to there was this point where I just felt like a fireball you know it just consumed me and I was like okay wow okay and I had this in a literal sense like this fire in me I

[00:10:35] was like you know what okay and I looked at my brother and I said I'll go on this trip and then his eyes lit up he's like okay wow perfect well let's let's break this down where do you want to go?

[00:10:49] I'm sorry my camera was moving there he's like where do you want to go and I said I don't know I mean it's November and I'm from Virginia so sometimes Virginia doesn't know what it wants to do sometimes it's hot sometimes it's cold it doesn't know.

[00:11:02] At that time it was a little nippy so I was like you know let's not go anywhere else cold what's the point of doing that let's go somewhere warm and he says okay well where do you want to go?

[00:11:12] And I said the first thing that came my mind I said I don't know Florida perfect when do you want to go? I don't know Sue okay do you want to go alone?

[00:11:26] You want me to come along with you what's the deal how do you want to handle this? And I was I just said to him please come with me you know I don't want to go by myself

[00:11:34] I'll probably just lay in the hotel room every day so you should tag along. He says okay don't worry about a thing I will send you details tonight and that was a Sunday. He sent me a text that night with plane tickets for Tuesday. Oh wow.

[00:11:51] So we're at the airport we're about to leave and I see we're going to West Palm Beach, Florida. Now I didn't know where West Palm Beach, Florida was he didn't know where West Palm

[00:12:02] Beach, Florida was we didn't know if it was on the East Coast, West Coast, North South we didn't know anything about it. The only reason why he picked it is because it sounded sexy that's that's literally the only reason I picked it. West Palm Beach who?

[00:12:15] Honestly that's that's the reaction he has. Okay that sounds pretty attractive there probably sounds like there's some cool things there there might be a beach there I don't know but let's pick it and that's what he

[00:12:24] that's what he did so we're in West Palm Beach day one and like as soon as we land I'm filled with immediate regret. I'm just saying myself why did I agree to this I just want to go home I want

[00:12:37] to lay in bed why am I in Florida I don't care about the palm trees I could care less. Day two same thing like the most exciting thing we did up to that point was I remember

[00:12:49] specifically we went to a pharmacy like a CVS we bought a deck of cards went to a local park and played go fish on this picnic bench that was the most high intensity fun spontaneous thing we did up to that point was play go fish in

[00:13:06] the park and we're fast-forwarding a little bit during that day and we're sitting at this patio table outside this cafe or restaurant and we're just talking you know doing nothing really and all of a sudden I see him put his

[00:13:22] phone down and he says okay I booked us something to do I'm not telling you what I booked you just have to get up and follow me then I got filled with anxiety I was like what are we gonna do are we going to the middle of the

[00:13:38] ocean on a boat somewhere got a fish are we going to some weird nightclub I feel really uncomfortable I didn't know what to expect so I was filled with a little fear and anxiety and he said just don't ask any questions just shut up just

[00:13:51] follow me that's all you have to do just walk with me and I said okay there's nothing else I can do so let's just do that so we're walking we're walking and all of a sudden this stoplight and before we can cross the

[00:14:03] street before we see the little green man walking sign we were waiting we're seeing the cars pass by I'm just kind of taking in my surroundings I'm looking around and I see this big building in front of me and I don't think anything

[00:14:15] of it but I look down I see it's the West Palm Beach Convention Center and then I see the sign sticking out of the ground this electric sign and the sign says Tony Robbins unleashed the power within and you know I've always been a

[00:14:31] big fan of Tony my brother has we've always been involved in personal development but my brother didn't know Tony Robbins gonna be down there having an event I didn't know anything so it was like we picked I mean I don't think

[00:14:47] we even picked it was just I feel like it was a buying intervention yeah by timing we just happened to be in the right place the right time he happens to be there having an event and my brother just bought tickets spontaneously to this

[00:14:59] to the seminar now of course the things I learned there were great life changing but I don't think my life would have changed if I didn't get out of bed there's a motto I say to myself that is part of my philosophy part of my

[00:15:19] coaching and I always emphasize this when I speak is that your life doesn't need or require weeks months years to change it literally can only take from one moment that leads to one decision that leads to one acting step and

[00:15:39] that's essentially what I did I took one moment while I was in the car with my brother and I agreed and I made a decision I took action I got my butt on a plane and then the universe God whoever you want to look at it did the

[00:15:53] rest you know and that's where I found myself and then from that moment where I found this breakthrough this light bulb I was completely shifted I saw things from a different perspective no longer from this victim mentality victim

[00:16:08] mindset more so of hey this depression stuff was actually here to help me I was supposed to experience failure I was supposed to face my fear now I know what is really fulfilling instead of chasing these external things right because I

[00:16:22] was I always had this feeling of being unfulfilled and lacking purpose when I found this breakthrough this light bulb I found this purpose it was as if I had this telepathic communication with God with the universe whatever and it said

[00:16:41] Carlo this is what you're gonna do this is how you're gonna help people you always wanted to you just never knew how this is what you're gonna do and it was as clear as day so I said to myself you know what that makes sense I am here

[00:16:56] to help these people high achieving men high cheating people who know they're meant for more they're not feeling fulfilled they're not performing at the highest level I want to help these people and that's exactly what I did

[00:17:09] I transformed the business I had the time which was personal training it wasn't doing well anyway so I switched it to more so a peak performance coaching mindset coaching how to help people in law their true potential how to find

[00:17:22] deeper fulfillment so they can become the best version of themselves whether it be in their business and their personal life their relationships it's just all about what we think about in here and how we behave and how we

[00:17:35] think and if we believe these thoughts right yeah so I mean I took that to heart and I said you know what this is my destiny this is this is what I'm here to do and ever since that day in 2021 I dedicated myself my business everything

[00:17:51] just to helping people I'm speaking coaching and it's just been the most fulfilling thing ever wow that that is amazing and it seems like there's been a theme with some of my podcast recently about mind shift and you

[00:18:03] know mind you know transformation and our thought processes you know on a higher level and so you know what and thank you you know for sharing that that personal story because we do get we get help you know we get sparks from

[00:18:17] other people's stories and I think that was very important and you know had you know hands off and kudos to your brother for you know for reaching out and say let's go and and you had just enough in you you know to say yes

[00:18:31] you probably want to but it was just a like you said that little flame and you know just enough for you to get up and get in that car because that is hard so

[00:18:40] what is the first thing then some what you do in order to break free from their lack of fulfillment limiting beliefs self doubt and lack of motivation and you know you told us about this through your story but you

[00:18:59] found success on the other side but what about the rest of us yeah so I mean that's a real deep question and there are so many ways to answer that but some things that personally helped me to find this fulfillment right because for me

[00:19:16] before I was finding fulfillment or trying to find fulfillment through external things everything else outside of me you know I told myself oh once I make enough money then I'll be you know this week proof I could do anything I'll

[00:19:29] be happy and I'll be the best like that was validation for me right or if I look really attractive if I get the six pack I used to say that's myself if I can have a successful business that means I could do anything that was

[00:19:43] proof to me I could do anything and that'll make me feel better but essentially that was just seeking validation for myself it was the need for significance that was important when you said seeking self validation yeah yeah because deep down it's up consciously I always felt

[00:20:01] like I was never good enough and I know a lot of people feel that way right and that's why a lot of living beliefs come into play and everyone has these so when I was striving for quote unquote greatness I was coming from a heart

[00:20:16] center place but the scale wasn't balanced you know of course I wanted to help people still but the need for success validation to say I was good enough was higher on the scale and that's kind of what led or partially what led to

[00:20:32] my downfall was every day that those results externally were not represented it kind of took a chip in my identity I said wow maybe I'm not the successful person maybe I'm not the smart person maybe I'm not good enough right and

[00:20:47] this validation just kind of kept going down down down and made me feel worthless and then that's where a lot of lack of fulfillment came into play I was like well if I can't do anything I can't do what I love

[00:21:00] what's the what's the future look like what's my purpose what am I doing here right and I know a lot of people either feel that way in the pursuit of what they're trying

[00:21:08] to do or let's say for example they already have the successful business they have the money they have the car right but they get to that finish line and they save themselves well

[00:21:21] where do I go from here no I thought this was gonna help me I thought this was the end why am I not happy why am I not fulfilled I'm just doing this routine every day

[00:21:31] and it's just mundane right so to answer the question I think one of the first things people can do again there's so many things we can do but one thing that I recall helping me was

[00:21:45] going back to my values going back to who is Carlo what does Carlo want what is Carlo love and I did this reflection right and it wasn't just thinking about it but it was actually

[00:21:57] visualizing and being back in specific moments for my life where I just felt really grateful right moments where I felt I don't know just pure love pure grace and I envisioned moments of

[00:22:09] me and my dog me my family me helping people and the longer I started doing this I started visualizing and reliving these moments not only did it make me feel grateful put me in a different

[00:22:20] state of mind but the longer I made this list of everything that I just love and felt grateful for and I expanded on it it kind of gave me insight on what is really important to me you

[00:22:32] know so in reality I didn't need the millions of dollars you know I don't need the the big muscles and six pack to prove I'm good enough you know and the more I started pushing everything to the

[00:22:47] side that did serve me and started letting everything that fulfilled me that made me feel like the real Carlo that made me feel happy started flooding in and then when I had when

[00:22:58] I had this list I understood that family is important to me service is important to me and I just kept going down the line I just kind of exhausted all these options and once I got a clear picture of

[00:23:11] what what it is I value that kind of steered me in the right direction of what it is I really want where am I going to go what is it I want to be doing for the rest of my life and who am I

[00:23:21] going to become what's the legacy I'm going to leave behind versus everything I'm chasing that makes sense the cars the money all that stuff so I think a big thing people can do to start is just

[00:23:34] we tend to think so externally and I mean that's just how we kind of are we think about the bills we think about the money we think about the business we were just so outside of ourselves

[00:23:50] you know if you really honestly ask yourself when's the last time I had a genuine conversation to myself and it's not just having the inner conversation with yourself say oh I got paid these bills I have all the stress but actually having a genuine conversation that's being kind

[00:24:06] to yourself we don't do that you know so once we become self aware of that of being just genuine and giving ourselves grace being able to talk to ourselves and internalizing everything that I think that's a better

[00:24:23] better option for us right a better way to live instead of just thinking so outside of us outside of us right because we can't control the outside world anyway so the only way we can't control

[00:24:32] was what's in here so when people start to understand what they truly value and get into their heart I think that is something that is one of the first episodes that leads to fulfillment

[00:24:45] and when it comes to limiting beliefs I mean I used to have them all the time I used to say I mean I still have them I told myself I was the biggest loser I'm a failure I never amounts to

[00:24:53] anything I have no purpose I like go on and on and on but one thing I understood is that these living beliefs were so false they were so fake and the reason why I believed them is because

[00:25:05] it was a story and that's what a belief is a belief is just a story that I put a lot of emotion into it and since I had so much emotion invested in saying oh I'm a loser my failure I'm not fulfilled

[00:25:16] I don't have a purpose but my brain was finding evidence to back up those claims right so it was showing me my past failures it was showing me those times where I was at this job where I

[00:25:27] was not happy and doing something I hated and it was fueling this belief that made me feel okay this is truth when reality that wasn't truth at all so how I became these living

[00:25:38] beliefs was I was doing the exact same process but the opposite I was envisioning moments where I felt successful where I felt fulfilled where I felt grateful where I felt amazing and I would envision

[00:25:51] specific moments of my life and relive them as if they were happening all over again and then the same process was happening my brain was kind of going in its filing cabinet and picking these moments and supplying it as proof as evidence and that's what really made me

[00:26:06] feel confident successful smart and I mean those are just a couple of things that helped me that is absolutely amazing incredible information to help us and really do appreciate that because even sometimes if we're not depressed we like to say we all go through these you know

[00:26:29] for periods of lack of fulfillment and limiting beliefs about who we are and what we have to offer I mean I do that you know suffer that you know at times myself and like you know our

[00:26:42] purpose sometimes like you say we have that big flame going and we know our purpose and where we're going and what we want to do and we're ready we're ready to take off like a blow torch

[00:26:52] then it's like well people really though I really have value you know well people really buy into what I'm saying on my program or my book or you know coaching your coach and

[00:27:06] you know will you know will I be successful you know will they will this really help somebody and so then we get to that point where we just we just fall and it's like we have no hope of this

[00:27:18] point it's like what you know where do we go from there what do you tell that person yeah I think one of the best things you could do for yourself is just ask yourself the question why

[00:27:31] like why am I doing what I'm doing what's the end goal of what I'm doing and when I reach this end goal is this really fulfilling is this really gonna fill up my heart fill up my cup once you

[00:27:44] understand why you're doing something I think not only with a howl and what to care of itself but you know you're in the right place because if you're doing something and you wake up in the

[00:27:57] morning and you're already angry you're at this job you're sitting in traffic going to work or coming from work and you're just not happy you're always aggravated that is I think

[00:28:08] your body your spirit your soul telling you that this is not meant for you and once you just kind of dive in and really envision what it is you really want your life to look like then ask yourself

[00:28:21] that question again why and if it's coming from a heart centered place that I think you know what is the exactly you want to do yeah I really appreciate that Carlo how can we get in touch

[00:28:33] with you and in as well I know that um on your website though we can get a discovery call with you and contact with you absolutely so the best place and the most common place I congregate is my

[00:28:47] instagram that's carlo tower amina underscore coach and if there is anybody out there that wants to extend the conversation or even has just questions I would love to help you can

[00:28:57] just DM me business chop podcast just so I know you came from this specific podcast I would love to continue the conversation and give you a free coaching call awesome so today we were speaking with Carlo tower Amina and he helps high achieving individuals to find deeper fulfillment

[00:29:15] and renewed purpose through a transformed mindset the carlo is there any nugget last thing you want to drop on us before we go oh yeah I mean huh there's so many I can do Audrey let me

[00:29:28] take a good one one thing I will definitely say this is what kept me in bed for a year not only the limit beliefs I had but what I focused on and if I could leave everyone

[00:29:42] with just one last piece of advice or insight is this is that you get the life you focus on so if you're focusing on the stress of the bills the job how unfulfilled you are

[00:29:57] that's exactly we're going to get and what when you get what you think about that will present the emotion that you're currently feeling whatever is wrong is always available but so is what's right so focus on what's right in your life chop squad is that the

[00:30:11] best advice you've ever received I know it halves for me so make sure you do contact Carlo on Instagram and follow his advice thank you for listening to another episode of the business chop it is my hope that you were able to gain usable information from today's episode

[00:30:31] and that you will download and share this podcast be sure to plug into our guests go through their website and social media channels to see how they can help you further through their

[00:30:40] products and services as well as plug into our website all together dot biz where we will help you expand your brand