Pushing Through Grief with Audrey Wiggins

Welcome to the business shop podcast where our guests speak on meeting the challenges of entrepreneurship as well as offer tips and advice on business, marketing, technology, and more, whether you are a newbie or a seasoned professional? This episode is for you. I am your host, Audrey Wiggins. Let's chop it up. 

I'm not here today to talk about branding, but I am here to talk about the person who is behind the brand and that's you, that's me. We all we own a business have practiced or consulting for whatever business during you may even be, a career professional working for someone else and, and that's okay. But there comes a time in most of our lives where we experience, life changing challenges or situations that come up. of course we don't plan these and a lot of it revolves around loss. So, so grief, We wanna talk about grief rather that losses from the death of someone close to us or we lost the house or a car or you know, anything like that or our dog, our cat died.

But whatever that is, and even, and even something positive as graduating from high school, excuse me graduating from college, you spend all that time in your press and press and press and all adrenaline. You know, it's going forth and you get, you're getting those grades, you're turning in assignments and before you know, a graduation is here and you graduate and it's all over that all of a sudden it's like, you know it's it's gone. and you're depressed, but it's, but all of those things create something that I like to call grief behaviors so that you know, so what what are the actions that come after those experiences? And I did experience the one with the graduate from college and you know the depression but not knowing what it was. But it was a loss for the mind because I was used to pushing, pushing, pushing And you know that all of a sudden I wasn't.

But even even more definitive than that when you talk about group behaviors. My mother died 20 years ago, this coming September just after 9 11 And I didn't know, you know, hindsight, you know it's 2020, right? And so I started creating things I'm already a creative person. I had a business and it's flourishing. I was in a full time. I quit my job several years before that, you know just about 13, almost 13 years. And I just didn't know what to do. She was, you know of course a part of molasses. I was born. So you know for me to have that cognitive space even though you know that she was there, you know along with my dad And he later passed too. But it started with her passing and first you have select you have like some memory loss because you you grieved so hard.

And then I started noticing a pattern some years later that instead of pouring into what I already had, what to say altogether marketing or whatever, marketing consultancy and really building into that and you know sometimes people say I just bury myself in my work and you know till I get over you know the grief and so what happened because I started creating stuff, I had another business, I had a cell phone business, you know hindsight. Again 2020 I opened a nail salon several years later, she died 1 4007 I started a nail salon and you know I drug my computer up to the to the nail studio was there was this little spot, one person spa and it was pretty and you know so I went to school and and trained and got my certification to be a nail tech and I love giving pedicures, I love receiving them too.

But and so I was there and while I was in that space there was, it was like, it was like a salon lost before it was salon loft was coined. So there was other, there were other people in the building with me, they were mostly stylist, there was one other nail professional and they would, but they will seek me out for marketing advisor, they do flyers this while I was still going but my mind was not focused on that and so I was still in this, I was still grieving so I was just still reaching so I was just reaching and reaching just doing this and doing that good things. But they were taken away from that from my my real purpose. The thing that the gift that God had already given me and my marketing business and again, you may be going through something similar or had gone through something and you look back and now you understand what, you know what it is.

It was a behavior out of your grief and I wanted so much to tell this story because of that, because I know there's gotta be a lot of other folks out there Men and women who are who have gone through or will go through the same thing that I'm going through. And if you're walking that path right now, understand that you are not alone and just find your find your focus though, that's what I can, if I can encourage you to do that to whatever you had going on before that grief try to try to get back to that or move forward into into that So that you can stay on that positive path and trust me, you will save so much time. That was 2001, I had two books that I had never written because I've never published used me because I was grieving and and even so in that in that process, when I was at the Salon, I had had created my first online course and the impostor syndrome sent in like nobody's business let me tell you.

And it was, it was crazy. And it took me almost 10 years to to produce that course. It was about seven. And finally, so I went to 2014 and when I, you know, got serious every year, I would get serious, right, you know, even had a person to invest money into it and I end up giving that person their money back because I just wasn't moving forward I was still, you know, locked, you know, trapped up here in the, in the grief. And it was, it was kind of crazy. So so I want to encourage you to, you know to move forward and whatever it is that you're doing this, otherwise it's gonna, it's gonna tell you, you're gonna sit back, you're gonna be still, you're gonna be a still, still made it and you're gonna be wondering why, you know, why isn't my business moving forward Why aren't my projects?

And it's just that the burdens that we carry is so heavy. So even if you, you know you take the time perhaps to get professional help Nothing wrong with it. I've done that, been there, done that, okay. And the lady went on vacation to see your family and I was like, no, I want my session next week. You know, because I really, it was exciting. I look forward to going and just spilling all this crap out on somebody else. And, you know, professional And it really helped a lot. So definitely grief behaviors is a real thing and you want to stick to it because like I said, it will set you back and you won't accomplish the goals that you have and you just take, it just takes too long and you don't want your life to go ahead of you because tomorrow is not present, you know, or not promised to us and, and in the present it's gone before you know it.

So whatever those business plans are that you have or those dreams dust them off and open them up because what you have in your hands, this is what you're supposed to be doing. We have things in our hands, okay, We are blessed with fortunes right here in these hands. So whatever that is, I have to encourage you to, To really dig deep, get an accountability partner, someone who can help you to stay focused and stay on that path because you're missing out. I do not want you to miss out because of group behaviors If we have got to move forward fast, life is moving fast and before you know it, you're going to be over 60 and you have not accomplished all your goals because you have your sitting out there with multi million dollar ideas and you can do it, it's in you, but you got to get past that burden of the grief of loss that you happened in your life and and even still with going forward with that my dad died.

five years later on December 2006. And so when the spring came of 2007 I said you know what, I have it all together now and I, you know, relaunched my business, changed the names altogether, marketing but still I was still carrying that was still trudging, okay, it was like that ball and chain or that heavy burden was still on my shoulders and I trudged through and pushed, I did go back to work as a matter of fact, the same week I accepted a job the same week that opened that studio salon for nails back in 2007 and you know, and kept through that And now to that point it's like, you know, I've got to pursue that dream because life is like I said, life is moving on and I don't want to move on without me because we, we we have legacies to leave.

There's someone looking up to us, there's always someone looking up to us, even when we're in our worst in a bar of our imposter syndrome, there's always someone who can find something awesome awesome in us that inspires them. So if I can inspire you to just pick it up a little bit, reach a little higher, okay, tired knot in the rope, you know, and pull and pull up just reach and you'll get there because it's important your dream is waiting there, it's waiting for you to make something happen. And so we have got to be out there empowering others, Educating others, entertaining others, inspiring others, making impacts on this world. That's what we're here to do. We're giving stuff in our hands again. What do you have in your hands? Let's set aside, let's push through, push, push, push those grief behaviors behind us and move forward because with passion, purpose with positivity with position and power and let's, you know, let's make it happen, let's go push through those great behaviors.

You've got books out there, like I said, I have two books, we gotta push those out because people need that information, people need your information. You may be a great coach, you may be a great graphic artist and web designer, I'm doing that, I have tons of clients and real excited about that, but there was more to success than business tools you know, doing your podcast. I was gonna talk about visibility but we can't show up and be visible and we are not our authentic selves if we are not showing up in full and in our full confidence and you know our con conscious, we have got to be awoke and in the present, All right, the past is the past and we can't change it, feel the pain, but push through, I just ask you please push through, Okay, push through those that grief.

So the behaviors that you have will catapult you forward instead of setting you back because of the time that you spent doing something else? Sure you may be, you may be good at it or you may not be good at it, but it takes away from your real purpose and you may find that you'll be losing other things along the way. Because what I'll tell you what happened as well. Instead, I lost the house, I've lost two cars because of these grief behaviors. If I had stayed the course state the path pushing through because you know, the grief is going to be there and I'm not telling you to, to hurry up for your grief because that's not healthy either. You have to take your time and go through it at your own pace. But if you can go through that pace with someone dragging you along in your purpose at the same time, that would that would really make a difference.

And you would be much happier on the other side of that grief because again, you know, you will experience the loss and and those things are just material things that they can be replaced But they also bring you no more pain and more anguish just like, oh God, I lost my house, you know, less embarrassing. That represents the car. And you know but it's kind of funny because I was at the salon and you know, I was at home, excuse me before I got to the salon. It was like my car was missing, right? Somebody stole my car. Where is my car? Oh my gosh, that was that was, it was funny. You know, looking back, it's funny and I, you know, I called the girl said they stole my car, I can't get there blah, blah, blah. You know, they picked me up and of course, you know, to find out you called the police department.

You know it's even more embarrassing then when they tell you that, you know, that the car was repossessed and you know, so, and I can remember that one time going to the repossession company to pick up my belongings that were in the, in the car and it was sad, but it was was also a wake up call and now I have that as part of my journey, part of my story that I can share with others to help them along the way. If we're sometimes we go through things so that we can encourage the next person and the next person and the bible expert you know, talks about that is, you know, is that whatever we have gone through, it's it's not, it's common to man someone else has gone through it, you know, before us and it says the older ones seats the younger ones and so here I am and you know, sometimes it may be aged older and younger, but it just may be that experience that I've had that could help someone else so that you don't have to stumble the whole way through by yourself.

And perhaps you can get through faster and hold onto your dream, hold on to your power because somebody else needs that from you. And so I want to encourage you to step up, stand up and remember what you have in your hands so that you can grow forward as you're going through your grief because that you aren't gonna stop grieving, it's gonna be there as part of life. And it may happen again sometime like I said, I lost my father after my mom and with different things, you have different types of loss. There's divorce There's, you know, friendships that break up, you may get fired from a job or you may have a good client that you really dependent on and and they decide to go with someone else and you have to grieve that loss But that doesn't mean we stop living and just sit down or you know, scatterbrain ourselves into doing these other things.

But so we have to stay focused. If that can be, you know, if that could be the word or the lesson is to stay focused while you're going through grief so that you don't get pushed, you know aside and go through the experiences grief, behave, if I can help you push through, push through and remember and remind you what's in your hands, please contact me. I'll be glad to help you. My information is there Please visit me on my website altogether dot biz and send me a message and let's together move forward and upwards and onwards because we have multi million dollar enterprises to birth to, to push through to grow so that we can help others, we can't help others if we're down or if we're scatterbrain, we're doing this and and doing that. There's nothing wrong with multiple streams of income and multiple revenue streams within your business because I do have several, but they all are under that umbrella of altogether marketing and you can do the same thing if I can close with being visible as you come out of those grief behaviors, There's several areas in your business that you need to focus on.

One is your your your branding, the continuity of your look, your colors, your logos, the pictures that you use when you post infographics and the fact that you do have a plan for posting those infographics whether it's facebook instagram linkedin. some people are doing TikTok doing some fun videos over there. It's not all crazy. But, but whatever you know, whatever channels that you use, you want to be ready and prepared because you have to be a part of you are your brand you are your business. So you have to be visible as you're, you're more than just a logo, whatever that is and there's other ways to show up. So you've got your, you have your social media, you must have your website type and together as well as start doing more videos and putting those out there. And what's really exciting is that, you know, podcasting is really, has really come into full view of fruition with Covid when people being off the previous year, a lot of podcasts were, were created, there's millions of them out there but don't think that the market is saturated because even if there are other topics and they're similar to yours, you're the voice of that topic, your experience makes it unique.

So you want to, that's another way to be visible as well as maybe you want to have a video shows a web tv. So those are other options out there and you're showing up again in the marketplace where where it's opening back up. So we're out there going to events networking, we're going to dinners So you make sure you have your business cards, whether they're physical business cards or you may have some digital business cards like papa or some of the others So you want to make sure that you have those types of communications ready for visibility to share with that person that, that you're meeting. And, so that's your business cards, you have your, your flyers, whatever it is that you may be doing. And again, I had mentioned your your websites or your domain name has to speak to your business.

You know, keep it simple. No dashes No hyphens hyphenated names for, you know, for websites that want to be memorable and you want people to remember you as well. So those are ways to be invisible as well as putting ads out there. You've got, we've got to advertise, you have to promote your business and getting back to the podcast and web tv shows whose show can you be on, be a guest on another show that's you know swap have people, let's swap the show. Someone you know at the web show or or podcast, swap each other's shows and make sure that you promote each other. So that's all again, being visible is coming out of those grief behaviors, those behaviors and you're gonna have to push through. It's not gonna be easy because trust me, I was I was there and now I just want to tell everybody and about somebody.

Okay, so get out there, you're not alone again, let's be visible. Let's stand up and remember what we have the power that we have in our hands by the gifts and talents that have been given to us to share with others. And if we're over, we're grieving and going over here when we should be going over here. You know, just remember that. So stay focused. You know, you should have put a pin something to remind you, okay, I'm grieving. That doesn't mean I have to create another whole business. Okay, maybe put that energy into creating your course for that business that will give you something new to focus on, but it's still related to your business and it's still on that path to success that, that you're looking you know to do to be accomplished out here in this business world.

Okay, So I just remember that and I'm praying for you. You pray for me because we're going to get through these grief behaviors so we can stay focused and we can make an impact on someone else and our path and leave a legacy for our families. Again I'm Audrey Wiggins, your chief brand strategist, also known as the tech diva. Alright, so remember to show up, show up authentically grieve but push through take care. I hope today's episode resonated with you. Perhaps you have gone through grief or you're in the middle of it and rest assured at some point we will all go through some type of grief, not necessarily grief from death but definitely will will suffer loss. So hopefully you'll be able to come back to this, this podcast and grab some nuggets or there are some other resources you will be able to plug into and if things are really tough.

and you're having some, some dark thoughts, pleased to give a call to 988. So, for some support in the meantime, let's stay close and remember that you know, as entrepreneurs and being in business that we are people first, and we have to take care of ourselves and things can happen to us that we have no control over. So thanks again. And I would appreciate your rating and review. You can go to our website and do that at businesschop.info. Thank you.